Replacement behaviors are bull shit.
YEP I said it. I have NEVER found a replacement behavior that would curb my desire to pull. Not pulling feathers out of pillows, not playing with slime, not my fidget cube, nothing.
YES those can be VERY satisfying, but let me tell you that when you really don't understand HOW to make that switch in your head to change your pulling behavior, no replacement behavior will suffice. I'm going to be honest, I would stick with it for 2 weeks or so and give up. I wouldn't have whatever device at some point and then pull again and give up. "HOW am I going to keep this up?" ALWAYS ran through my head because no matter what you do to replace it the change has to be DEEPER>
This is why I also think BARRIER methods are bull shit. Barrier methods are GREAT when you're around friends or family and you need an awareness of what you're doing because you'll leave your hat, beanie, scarf, whatever on but when you're alone OFF It comes.
The reason these don't work is because if you're using JUST a barrier method or JUST a replacement behavior you are relying SOLEY on this particular thing to help you change your behavior and it becomes a CRUTCH in a sense and you don't change the behavior because at the end of the day, you haven't made an internal shift. TRUST ME I know you THINK you want to change SO BAD and that you would do anything because I DID THAT. For years I just wished and wished and wished and hoped that it would just go away. I thought about how unfair it was. I thought about how I didn't think I could ever change no matter what I did. It was an internal shift that I made with my mind to BELIEF. Because when I tried all these other things I had the thought of "oh I HOPE i can do this" the BELIEF wasn't really there.
I would actually build up even MORE self hate and frustration when I would try these other things thinking it was SOO impossible and I was hopeless. This didn't give me any encouragement or make me feel ANY better at all.
It's like deciding you want to change your diet, so you throw out all of the old food, buy all the healthy food, prep it, but you still choose to go out and buy take out. THIS IS WHAT I WAS DOING. I was still choosing take out. BECAUSE not choosing take out isn't about what's in your fridge, it's about the DECISION.
SO how the FUCK do you make this decision and this belief?
THIS IS REALLY SIMPLE:
YOU TELL YOURSELF YOU ALREADY DID> Yeah you fucking LIE.
You tell yourself EVERY DAMN DAY that you have made this change ALREADY - I don't care if you haven't, I don't care if you pulled 200 hairs yesterday. You tell yourself you ARE the person you want to be. These are called "affirmations." NOW stick with me. I always thought affirmations was some weird hippie bullshit but let me tell you how to make this MAGIC work for you.
EVERY DAY I told myself the following.
- I am not a hair puller
- I control my trichotillomania behaviors
- Today is a pull free day.
Throughout the day IF i started to pull OR if I did pull I would say to myself outloud "UHM HEY I am not a hair puller. I control my trichotillomania behaviors today is a pull free day!" I would immediately stop.
- Calling myself on my own bullshit
- Holding myself accountable
And so overtime even when I would WANT to ignore that voice I wouldn't because you START TO BELIEVE what you tell yourself every day. At first sometimes I'd say this stuff and ignore it and pull 10 minutes later. But month after month it made that mental shift for me. I lied myself into quitting basically. You can seriously do this too. USE MINE you don't have to reinvent the wheel. BUT you HAVE TO REPEAT THEM and this is where that piece comes in of you really wanting it and not driving out to the drive through. This is where you have to start eating the food in the fridge.
Maybe these sound like bullshit too - but let me tell you this bullshit will actually change your behaviors for REALS it's not bullshit you're going to lose under the couch in a week or leave at home. YOU TAKE THIS WITH YOU!
Will you try this? Comment below and let me know if you're going to try and what you're going to tell yourself.